Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I Was So Wasted

Dedicated to everyone who experiences liquor related memory loss on New Years Eve.
This one goes to the Garth Brooks tune "Friends In Low Places"


I threw up on your boots?
And grabbed your wife’s boobs?
And ruined your white cats hair?

Where did I go?
I don’t even know
I just woke up in my underwear

And I was surprised
When the New Year arrived
And I wasn’t in the town jail

But now, I‘m mostly screwed
Not funny, royally tattooed
And I got more worries than bail

Because my friend
I was so wasted.
Drank the whiskey down
And then started chasing
Tequila Bay
And now I ‘m here to beg

Well, I was a pig
I crashed your places
I think I even punched
A couple of faces
Forgive me friends
I was so wasted!

Well, I guess that was wrong
When I fired up the bong
Again, I shouldn’t mix drugs with Coors

When I smashed out your light
Your Mom almost died
And she threw me right out through the door

And I didn’t see
Your wife’s new kitty
She isn’t still mad, is she friend?

I must’ve been high
Why does your dog seems to cower
When I come near him?

Because my friend
I was so wasted
When I hit on your spouse,
I was blitzed, let’s face it
I’m a fool today
I got a big headache

I know that some of my
Jokes were tasteless
Let’s just all sit down
Forget the court cases
I was an ass, my bad
I was so wasted

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