Who Raised The Flop

PARENTAL ADVISORY-LANGUAGE
This one goes to the tune of Barry Mann's "Who Put The Bop"
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I'd like to smack the guy
Who took it all
And made me go all in on a pair of queens

CHORUS
Who raised the flop, damn, the flop, the flop, the flop
Who put their hand in my damn gambling pot
Who gave the bump, oh, the bump, the bump, the bump
Who was the twit, yeah, the twit, the idiot
You'd understand
I'd like to break his hands
He raised and made me gamble everything

Where's that little turd (pow,pow pow pow,pow pow,pow pow pow)
Every chip went right into his account
And then he finished betting(damn him,damn him,damn him,damn him,damn him,damn it)
Now I've got nothing left to count
(chorus)

Sometimes I wish I'd known(looky,looky,looky,looky,looky,looky,you)
Give my money back. I am broke
Now, every time I want to(bet, bet bet bet bet, bet, bet bet bet bet)
I always think that I will choke
(chorus)

Darn thief,(stomp,stomp stomp stomp,stomp stomp,stomp stomp stomp)
It ain't funny,(catch your damn ding dong in your zipper)
And when I play(shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit )
You know that I'm pissed off at you, you stupid stupid stupid dude.

Dumbass On Weed

PARENTAL ADVISORY-LANGUAGE/SUBJECT MATTER!

This one goes to the tune of Dire Strait's "Sultan Of Swing"
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He starts to quiver in the dark
Keeps a lookout for a narc
Cause he's buying
An ounce of the best pot he's ever seen
From a dude that he's only known for a short time
He feels alright
When he finally gets that weed

Now he runs and he hides
So he won't see too many faces
Comin' in to be a pain
And bring his buzz down
He caught a vision of his shoelaces
Thought they were worms
His brain isn't that sound

When he looks down

When he says, "Now, I want Gummies now"

Look out. His car's an old Ford
It blows by all accords
Mind you, it doesn't always get him
From point A to point B
But that old car is all that he can afford
Cause he fills his pipe
Every day with that weed

Now Mary Jane is fine
If he wants to bake pastries
He better pray those brownies
Come out alright
He can screw up quite a lot
Just like anything
Baking that pot
On Friday night

He's a dumbass

He's a dumbass on weed

Then he proudly makes noise
"They're cooling right now. Place your order"
Skunks the best
In their brown baggies
With hairs of gold
He only puts a gram
In all of that scrumptious brownie pan
They want their money back
Or heads will roll

And the dumbass

Yeah, the dumbass stays real low

Real low, baby
(lead break)

Then the man with the cops
Says what's up on the megaphone
"Come out fast, or some damn bullets will ring"
Serves him right, he's been dimed, now jail is his home
But he ain't got class. He's a ding a ling

He is a dumbass

He is a dumbass on weed
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Tribute To Tommy Chong 1

Sung to the tune of Steve Miller’s “The Joker”
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Some people call him the king of toke
Some call him Tommy Chong
Some people call him a stoner
But not anymore, since the feds came along

He saw that the law was as crooked as can be
They said,"You're gonna plead guilty, or we'll charge your family"
So he does it, yeah, he does it and he goes and he does his time.
Come on, baby, I'll sure tell you what should be the crime

(CHORUS)
He ain't smokin'
He ain't tokin'
He don't feel like jokin'
Uncle Sam took away his bong

The feds dropped by
Not to get high
Just to blackmail the guy
They can't find Osama, so they'll settle for Chong

The narc's think that they just ruined his life
Lied straight to his face, and just twisted the knife
Now he's gotta say, gotta say that he ain't gettin' high
Come on, baby, let's hope that the feds are making him lie
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Cheech and Chong merchandise is available online. The C&C link above the parody will take you there directly.